Malcolm/Quotes

Overview

Gallery

Quotes

Quote gallery page
The following is a quote gallery.

In Unreal Tournament Malcolm uses the Male Soldier voicepack. In Unreal Tournament 2003 and Unreal Tournament 2004 he uses the Male Human voicepack. In both Unreal Championship 2: The Liandri Conflict and Unreal Tournament 3 he gets his own voicepacks, although he isn't a playable character on the latter. He's voiced by Patrick Amos in UC2 and by Greg Eagles in UT3.

Unreal Championship 2

Ascension Rites

Robot commentator: "Welcome to the Opening Round of the five hundred twenty third Nakhti Ascension Rites. I'm joined by Malcolm, who is no stranger to combat tournaments."

Malcolm: "Good to be here. It's a nice morning here in the Nakhti capital, but it's about to get nasty."

Robot commentator: "It's been eight years since Emperor Hasan won the accepter. Now he's fallen ill, and must step aside."

Malcolm: "So now, hundreds of hopefuls from across the planet are here to fight for the throne, or die trying."

Robot commentator: "This year competitors who reach the playoffs also qualify for the big leagues, the Liandri Grand Tournament."

Malcolm: "This competition may be small, but it won't leave you disappointed. Ancient traditions, a final match to the death, and all the carnage you expect from a sanctioned Liandri tournament. Heh! I can't wait."

Robot commentator: "Let's get to the action."

--Eternal Vigilance

Robot commentator: "Welcome back to our live coverage of the Nakhti Ascension Rites. We have a full day of Team Deathmatch for you. Malcolm, what do you think of the next match-up?"

Malcolm: "Anubis is a newcomer who has beaten the odds - not to mention some tough shooters - to get this far."

Robot commentator: "I understand his teammate has some experience in Liandri tournaments?"

Malcolm: "Sobek had potential, but he wasn't too popular, and couldn't hold on to a sponsor. It's good to see him back on the circuit."

Robot commentator: "Of course, all eyes are on the center arena, where Selket and her partner Apophis are punishing their opponents. Let's get back to the action."

--Team Deathmatch

Malcolm: "The Skaarj. Their brutality is legendary throughout the galaxy. Hands down, they're the most vicious warriors around. Which makes my guest a tourney competitor to be feared. Szalor, welcome."

Szalor (on the arena): "Good to be here."

Malcolm: "Let's cut right to the chase. Why do Skaarj hate humans?"

Szalor (on the arena): "You killed our queen."

Malcolm: "Sure, but that was at the end of the war. Why did you attack our colonies?"

Szalor (on the arena): "We have no grudge against humans."

Malcolm: "That's a relief! You heard it here first."

Szalor (on the arena): "We subjugate all inferior races, not just humans."

Malcolm: "Ohhh-key. Let's move on. Your next opponent is some Nakhti soldier... Anubis."

Szalor (on the arena): "[growls]"

Malcolm: "Must be tough facing an "inferior human" as an equal."

Szalor (on the arena): "Not as equal."

Malcolm: "Competitor, then."

Szalor (on the arena): "Hm... It is... unsatisfying... to rip them apart, only to have them respawn."

Malcolm: "Your next match is a Nali Slaughter. Some would say it's unwise to meet a Skaarj warrior in a game they invented."

Szalor (on the arena): "It is always unwise to fight a Skaarj warrior."

Malcolm: "Tell me about the Nali. What are they like?"

Szalor (on the arena): "They are sheep. Slaughtering them almost takes the pleasure out of killing. Almost... [laughs maniacally]"

--Lambs to the Slaughter

Robot commentator: "Next we have our first Overdose match. Malcolm, why don't you take us through the rules?"

Malcolm: "Overdose is all right. But the fans'll tell you the real story here is Lauren."

Robot commentator: "We're glad to see her in the ring again. She looks great!"

Malcolm: "Lauren was as tough as they come. She rode with me and the Crash for years. But when Brock died, she lost it, and killed herself."

Robot commentator: "But now, thanks to the Liandri Mining Corporation, she's fighting better than ever."

Malcolm: "Thanks to the Phayder assassins, you mean."

Robot commentator: "The Necris rejuvenation process was invented by the Phayder. Their famous motto is "no one kills like the dead". But the Liandri paid them a king's ransom to bring Lauren back to the Tournament."

Malcolm: "Out of the goodness of their hearts, I hear she's real happy to be back."

Robot commentator: "She sure is! Of course, offworlders aren't eligible to win the throne, but this is a great chance for her to prepare for the Grand Tournament."

--Overdose

Malcolm: "Hey, kid."

Anubis: "Malcolm."

Malcolm: "Yeah. Listen - I want you for my team in the real tourney. For Thunder Crash."

Anubis: "Thanks, but this is my home. Even if I do qualify, it ends here."

Malcolm: "Smart. Get out if you can. But you're too hot for your own good."

--A Moment's Reprieve

Robot commentator: "Welcome to the playoffs! We're down to our seven finalists.They've all qualified for the Liandri Grand Tournament, but it's the Imperial throne that it's on their minds today. First, a quick review of the rules. The quarterfinal round is a six-way deathmatch, which the top-scorer gets to skip..."

Malcolm: "...and that's Selket. Nobody came close to her scores."

Robot commentator: "Selket, and the top three quarterfinalists will meet in two semifinal deathmatches, with pairings decided by random draw."

Malcolm: "The winners head to the finals for a fight to the death. The winner's crowned Emperor. The loser goes home in a box."

Robot commentator: "Our competitors are ready, so let's get one last look."

--Quarterfinals

Robot commentator: "What an incredible match. Fine performances by all, but three competitors will go home empty-handed. Malcolm, are you surprised to see Anubis in the semi-finals?"

Malcolm: "Nah! He has fighting in his blood - from his grandmother, the late Empress Seshafi."

Robot commentator: "But he turned his back on his family's tradition, not to mention his arranged marriage with Selket, eight years ago."

Malcolm: "Skipping the Tourney was one thing, but pissing off a chick like Selket was suicidal. I bet she's dying to meet him in the arena."

Robot commentator: "Well, that would be exciting, but all the semi-final matchups are completely random."

Malcolm: "Yeah, random."

--Semifinals

Frag taunts

Malcolm: "Smackdown."

Malcolm: "Owned!"

Malcolm: "I'm too hot."

Malcolm: "Who's the champ?"

Malcolm: "Damn right!"

Malcolm: "Still number one."

Malcolm: "I'm on fire."

Malcolm: "Drop it like it's hot."

Malcolm: "I'm just playing for stats now."

Malcolm: "You know how we do!"

Malcolm: "Whose house? My house."

Malcolm: "That's right, I bring it."

Malcolm: "You're a busta."

Malcolm: "Out of the way, noob."

Malcolm: "Don't hate the playa."

Death taunts

Malcolm: "Ah, hell no."

Malcolm: "Oh, no, you didn't!"

Malcolm: "Step off."

Malcolm: "Damn!"

Malcolm: "Not bad."

Malcolm: "Sweet move."

Malcolm: "Bitch, please."

Malcolm: "Oh, snap!"

Malcolm: "You just set it off."

Malcolm: "I thought we was cool?"

Malcolm: "My head's ringin."

Malcolm: "It's like that, huh?"

Malcolm: "Is that how it is?"

Malcolm: "The cane keeps me sane."

Malcolm: "Sorry, I was countin' my money."

Searching taunts

Malcolm: "Here I come, baby!"

Malcolm: "Time to get paid."

Malcolm: "Quit playin' with yourself."

Malcolm: "Here comes the thunder!"

Malcolm: "I'm'a mess you up."

Malcolm: "That's right, back on up."

Other taunts

Malcolm (Friendly fire, receiver): "Watch it, kid."

Malcolm (Friendly fire, receiver): "Damn!"

Malcolm (Friendly fire, giver): "My bad."

Malcolm (Arrived to defense): "Take your time."

Malcolm (Has the flag): "I've got the flag."

Malcolm (Has the flag): "I have the flag."

Malcolm (Spotted enemy flag carrier): "That's my flag, bitch!"

Malcolm (Spotted enemy flag carrier): "There's the flag carrier."

Malcolm (Base under attack): "Here they come."

Malcolm (Base under attack): "Incoming!"

Malcolm (Under heavy fire): "Little help?"

Malcolm (Order: attack): "Cap enemy flag"

Malcolm (Order: defend): "Defend our flag"

Malcolm (Order: cover): "Cover me"

Malcolm (Order: hold position): "Hold here"

Malcolm (Order: freelance): "Freelance"

Malcolm (Order acknowledgement: attack): "Let's roll!"

Malcolm (Order acknowledgement: defend): "I got D."

Malcolm (Order acknowledgement: cover): "No problem."

Malcolm (Order acknowledgement: hold position): "You got it."

Malcolm (Order acknowledgement: freelance): "Sure thing."

Malcolm (Covering): "Let's go."

Unreal Tournament 3

Malcolm: "Izanagi hired me to run Special Ops."

Reaper: "That can't be cheap."

Malcolm: "Sounds like you know my rep."

Reaper: "Yeah, who doesn't? Most grand tournament trophies, ever. Leader of Thunder Crash, AKA 'Thunder Cash'..."

Malcolm: "Aight, I get it."

Reaper: "...all of which makes you a highly decorated... civilian."

Malcolm: "I've run 'Thunder Cash' in the wackiest conditions the Liandri could dream up... magma-filled volcanoes, zero gravity, fucked-up aliens, you name it. This shit here's a cakewalk."

UT3 Single Player, Act II: With Caesar's Coin

Malcolm: "We've kept the fight under the N.E.G.'s radar. But this new alliance may fool the Phayder into making a mistake... like open warfare. We need more Tarydium to keep our tanks rollin'. The Liandri have plenty, so we're takin' it. Suit up, quit, I don't care. But Izanagi's still got a war to fight."

UT3 Single Player, Act III: The Liandri Conflict